The best way to stay out of people’s business is to know what this business is.
Where would I put a finger?
Gemma is really a bit second tier.
You can’t do cocaine with a broken nose. So I asked my maid to give me a booty bump and she quit.
– I didn’t want Adam dead.
– Then why mention him in my presence?
Vinieron. Ellos tenían la Biblia y nosotros teníamos la tierra. Y nos dijeron: “Cierren los ojos y recen”. Y cuando abrimos los ojos, ellos tenían la tierra y nosotros teníamos la Biblia.
Eduardo Galeano
Once I realised she wasn’t a guy called Simon her writing started to make a whole lot more sense.
– You have spiked their blood sugar.
– Oh no, these raspberries cupcakes are sugar-free!
– There’s sugar in raspberries!
Given all you accomplished, how do you stay so humble?
Love is mostly chemicals. Dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin. To activate all three, exercise, eat some protein, squeeze in eight hugs a day.
And if you get too overwhelmed just use the safe word: hakuna matata.
Sometimes being offered tenderness feels like the very proof you‘ve been ruined.
The person that makes you feel the most you.
The person that makes you grow the most.
Phoney-baloney cacka shit.
You know I think life is all about timing.
“Billy spoke with you about our sex?!”
“Of course, he did. I’m his mother!”
I’m into shitty poop song.
My mom says I’m not worth the calories I eat.
Men don’t take the time to end things. They ignore you. Until you insist on a declaration of hate.
You’re lonely? Then get a cat. They live 13 years. Then you get another one and another one after that. Then you’re done.
– Why do all these ads have the word “love” in them?
– The client insisted. Must have heard it on the radio.
Do you know it’s a sin to be a ghoul and feed on everyone’s pain?
You’re a beautiful girl. It’s up to you to be more than that.
You are bored. And I’m going to let you in on a little secret about life. You think it’s boring now? Well, it only gets more boring. The sooner you learn it’s on you to make life interesting, the better off you’ll be.