Once I realised she wasn’t a guy called Simon her writing started to make a whole lot more sense.
– You don’t remember any of their phone numbers? Not even your mom’s?
– I‘m young, remember?!
– OMG, you look hot!
– Well, duh, it’s still me!
– No, you look sweaty…
– Back in the day when I wanted some strange, I would grab a Wall Street dude coming out of spin class. I knew exactly what his body looked like, I knew what his sweat smelled like, and I knew for sure there would be no emotional attachment. I could simply hate-fuck his capitalist brains right out his prick.
– Before Lehman Brothers went down, Neri went down on Lehman Brothers.
– Luschek just commented “believe women”. And he did the fist emoji, but he changed the skin color to white, instead of keeping it Simpsons yellow. Who does that? That’s some white supremacist shit right there.
– Maybe I am not the best person to be advising you on this, considering you blackmailed me into giving you a blowjob.
– That was consensual blackmail. And now, we are living in non-wedded bliss.
– Joe, the best thing you can do as a straight white man is shut the fuck up.
– But that’s crazy. I get it, men have been abusive assholes throughout time, but I am not one of those guys. I’m just trying to get the facts straight.
– The only thing more annoying than you being a nice guy is your need for everyone to think that you’re a nice guy. It’s not gonna happen, but this will blow over, ’cause the world doesn’t really care about anyone, and it certainly doesn’t care about women.
So, sit tight and let it pass.
– What did you think about it? And be brutally honest, but lead with the positive, because I might shut down and not be able to process the criticism.
– So, what’s the difference between the racisms?
– Capital-R racism implies that the racist assumes racial superiority or performs deliberate acts of discrimination. Casual racism is about negative prejudice or racial stereotypes concerning race, and is most often unintentionally offensive. They both have negative impact, but casual racism makes me laugh, so I indulge.
Are you asking me to Marie Kondo my wife?
Continue reading “Finale”For those with an IQ greater a certain number, life is is almost unbearable.
I‘m glad we met. I‘m glad we’re friends.
I‘m just saying… are you being your most amazing self right now?
I‘m not a maybe. I‘m the one.
My worst fear is not to be bad but unremarkable.
I have a rare, chronic bladder disease called interstitial cystitis. Some people think I’m being uppity, but I can’t have any fast food. And if I drink, it has to be a high pH, you know, like Ketel One or Goose and pear juice.
Britney got through 2007, though, right?
None of us liked Peach. But we loved her.